Tuesday, December 18, 2007
ok so my journey of beanie days return.
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Saturday, December 15, 2007
DECLARE MYSELF STATE OF EMERGENCY!!
MY HAIR IS DROPPING OFF!!!
GOSH ATE SO MUCH TODAY. MY STOMACH IS LIKE NEVER EMPTY TODAY. LET'S SUMMARISE
MORNING BREAKFAST
ONE AND A HALF PLAIN PRATA PLUS HALF EGG PRATA
2 SIPS OF TEH TARIK
THEN WENT TO OFFICE AND CLEAN CAR. OK CALORIES BURNT. GOOD.
THEN ONE HAM SANDWICH.
3 SLICES OF MANGO.
2 SLICES OF PEAR.
THEN ABOUT 12.30 LUNCH.
HAD. 3-4 POPIAH AT TOAPAYOH.
ONE BOWL MINCED MEAT NOODLE.
HALF BAMBOO JUICE.
THEN BEFORE DINNER.
HAD 2 DURIAN JELLIES(SUPERB). 2 LOGAN JELLIES WITH NATA DE COCO.
THEN DINNER AT 6.15PM
HAD RICE WITH CLAYPOT FISH HEAD.
THEN UP HAD 4 SLICES PINEAPPLE.
SOME DRAGONFRUIT.
SOME APPLE
AND SOME JELLIES WITH LOGAN AND NATA DE COCO
GOODNESS. IM LIKE SUPER BLOATED.
HAVEN SHITTED TODAY.
SHOPPING TOMORROW! LIKE MY LAST! HAHAHHA HAIR IS DROPPING OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
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Friday, December 14, 2007
whoaaaa!
what a day! haha i guess i've been stressing myself out. over what. over whatever to do the next day! haha life of a nothing-much-to-do-person. thats me.
okay. yay after a tiring day yesterday, i had a good sleep!! although only like 6plus 7 hours, im still happy! cause at least they're like deep sleep!
so went swimming. ok i realise! steroids gives me water retention! so must exercise more get rid of the excess water so my face wont look AS swollen! haha! but how to go swimming everyday right. after swimming i'll be so weak and strength-less. oh and i had like toe cramp for swimming! funny stuff. i think people think im weird and crazy cause i was like in the middle of the pool laughing to myself.
and and and i just made my durian jelly!! nice but ugly. but can eat can already right! once consumed, i guess they look the same inside!
and haha let's hope today will be tired too. i realise i cannot sit down at home one. im constantly STANDING. cause once i sit down, i will feel so free and weird and sad. hohoho
aiyah huiqi is back. and suddenly i dun miss her anymore. lol. qinying ask me to discuss our shopping outing again. which im required to sms her. dear huiqi, if you're reading this, do you want to go out with us this sunday? and qinying is such a sucker for shopping man. she's like the shopping queennnn. she buys like how you lick ur nose! gosh.
ok it's 4.23 now. still got a few more hours to dinner. i really cant sit still. off to play neopets!
oh haven done my homework today. figured next week will be my super free week full of chemo and stay at homes. well~~
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Thursday, December 13, 2007
HEYO!!
HAHA TODAY TIME FLIES! AND IM HAPPY! CAUSE IT'S LIKE FINALLY TIME FLIES FOR ME AND I DUN HAVE TO WORRY WHAT TO ACTUALLY TO DO NEXT!
ok im so full. keep eating today. just feel like eating something very spicy and meat! lol. i think my face is like swollen like that. which looks like this
went shopping!! like yay! ok at first wasn't really in this shopping mood at all. i just feel like going out. then went to bugis. it's a good place for cheap stuff. but you cant try out the ten bucks stuff! then if you cannot try, you wont know whether it'll look good ornot! so well. and dunno why today is thursday and it's like almost all the shops are closed. oh! it's been like a few years since i stepped into bugis. lol im like a mountain tortoise. and changed like dunno what already!!
so after that we went to town again. haha. and there's mango sale! like damn cool. super mega sale that dun need advertising man. so many people flocking to the fitting rooms and milling around for nice clothing and stuff. haha and that makes the shopping mood come backk but by then the money are running out already.
qinying bought a skirt! yay! haha. so she can shop for shoes soon! and i wonder when's the next outing..
yay i love shopping!! haha but all i bought was like basics.
darn. im like trying not to depend on medicine for passing motion. looks like i failed like terribly. so in the end, i still must depend on it=((
but come to think of it, my tummy is growing bigger without passing motion. haha so well. must shit more!
for the thursday shirt!
oh spent so much on food. shakes head.
going to be a long post. cause i have ALOT OF THINGS to blog about. and i wonder if i can remember everything cause it's getting late! haha.
ok. firstly, lets get what i want to get.
1) i want some shorts! to show off my fat and flabby thigh! lol no shorts already quite sad
2) i want a necklace! long and pretty one. but then, i think i wont use it in the near future. so well. maybe i should forget it?
3) i want a bag! big bag so can bring to school. better if it's like fake puma, adiddas, nike. so if spoilt, tired of it can throw away. so pasar malam anyone?
haha. okay. wish list of the day!
yay tomorrow going to make some jellies. i want to try some durian jellies. hahah. exciting.
going to mug finish my newspaper articles by tomorrow! haha 24 articles from 3 days worth of straits times. say im pro.
and maybe im going to email econs department. i cannot seem to access the lesson schedule. im an econs student!!
and the volunteer thing is successful! after borrowing qinying's common password. yirong! contact me and i give you the common password! but then i checked. there's not much volunteer stuff for us to do right now. so how? not even kids read lar.
ok. thats all for today.
now let's talk about me.
so the effects of radiotherapy is getting into me. im getting dumber/slower/retarded. i cannot do simple mathematics! like 100 minus 73 like that. i need to think long and hard. gosh. and that is real demoralising. i dun want to become dumb =((((
and my hair is dropping off. one patch. and i wonder where is the next patch. i hope it'll be small and minimal. i love my hair while they are still present.. and drop hair means. i dun want to go out anymore. i dun want to swim anymore. i dun want to shop anymore. i dun want to do anything anymore. hais. i dun want to drop hair. then i'll have to wear my beanie again =((
and my chemotherapy is starting next week. hais like bad news. so my hair is going to drop off soon. so when school reopens, my hair will be gone. =((
chemotherapy is like usual. 5 days. needles. pain. plug. ulcers. vomitting. i dun want! but looking at the bright side, it's only 6 cycles. but it's 2nd line chemo. i wonder how things will go. i hope they'll be fine.
and that ruin my Genting trip. my shopping trip! but well. the thought of me without hair going to genting wont be too fun either. so well. stay at home during christmas then!
so all the plans to go out with my friends are gone. hair gone. plans gone=((
i want to pass motionnnnnnnnnnnn.
and the steroids is giving me bloody moody temper. i can like happy for one second, excited for the next, and glum in the very next. and my face. like balloon. and sometimes red. and makes me so hungry.
argh.
i miss huiqi so much!
oh yes! i must proclaim my love for the two friends!! TAY YIRONG AND LIN QINYING!!
THANKYOU DEARS!! FOR LIKE ACCOMPANYING ME THIS HOLIDAY! ALTHOUGH ONLY LIKE TWICE, BUT IM HAPPY EVERYTIME WE GO SHOPPING AND GO OUT. I KNOW AFTER THIS WEEK, I WONT BE GOING OUT WITH YOU ALL ANYMORE BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
ANYWAY. DOES MY SPECS LOOKS OKAY??
OK SHOULD SLEEP NOW. LETS HOPE I HAVE A GOOD SLEEP OK. I WANT TO SLEEP 8 HOURS BUT HAVEN BEEN ABLE TO RECENTLY. CHEERS.
IM OKAY.
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
my side effects:
If dexamethasone is given orally or by injection (parenteral) over a period of more than a few days, side-effects common to systemic glucocorticoids may occur. These may include:
Stomach upset, increased sensitivity to stomach acid to the point of ulceration of esophagus, stomach, and duodenum
Increased appetite leading to significant weight gain
A latent diabetes mellitus often becomes manifest. Glucose intolerance is worsened in patients with preexisting diabetes.
Immunsuppressant action, particularly if given together with other immunosuppressants such as ciclosporine. Bacterial, viral, and fungal disease may progress more easily and can become life-threatening. Fever as a warning symptom is often suppressed.
Psychiatric disturbances, including personality changes, irritability, euphoria, mania
Osteoporosis under long term treatment, pathologic fractures (e.g., hip)
Muscle atrophy, negative protein balance (catabolism)
Elevated liver enzymes, fatty liver degeneration (usually reversible)
Cushingoid (syndrome resembling hyperactive adrenal cortex with increase in adiposity, hypertension, bone demineralization, etc.)
Depression of the adrenal gland is usually seen, if more than 1.5 mg daily are given for more than three weeks to a month.
Hypertension, fluid and sodium retention, edema, worsening of heart insufficiency (due to mineral corticoid activity)
Dependence with withdrawal syndrome is frequently seen.
Increased intraocular pressure, certain types of glaucoma, cataract (serious clouding of eye lenses)
Dermatologic: Acne, allergic dermatitis, dry scaly skin, ecchymoses and petechiae, erythema, impaired wound-healing, increased sweating, rash, striae, suppression of reactions to skin tests, thin fragile skin, thinning scalp hair, urticaria.
Allergic reactions (though infrequently): Anaphylactoid reaction, anaphylaxis, angioedema. (Highly unlikely, since dexamethasone is given to prevent anaphylactoid reactions.)
what a scary list! no wonder my face looks like a balloon now=((
i love shitting!!~~ hahhaha
today is like writing day for me. cool man. i did like almost half my articles review already!
and i cannot read econs. and i got no idea why.
yay christmas cards are on the way OUT!!
yay can go out tomorrrow!!
let's hope the weather tomorrow will be fine fine fine!!
and i slept well yesterday night!
oh god. my specs makes me feel and look tall. so people look slimmer to me too. not to mention tall 0.0
and why the volunteer thing never email me?
huiqi is coming back!! then we can go out!!
but im leaving for Genting soon(hopefully it's successful)
happy!
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Tuesday, December 11, 2007
life!
my twenty bucks just like flew out of the window!
but well nevermind that's life isn't it.
and im bored bored bored.
why i dun want to have constipation again!
shit im constantly complaining about shitting.
damn im like bored.
i need to go out and walk.
when will huiqi come back!!
and chelsea will have her company soon! and im downright JEALOUS!
ask all my friends dun be so busy~~
holidays are coming to an end soon.
sigh.
school is starting soon.
and im still not sleeping well.
i feel so weak.
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Sunday, December 09, 2007
bought a new specs! haha finally can change my specs of dunno how many years! lol.
aiyah. i wonder if steroids make you feel depressed. im like so not happy nowadays. or is it the anticipation of something that i don't want in the future? or is it because of my constipation. talking about constipation. im angry! hahas.
hais. i dun want my hair to drop again. and i worry about it everyday.i dun want. i dun want. i dun want. but well. what can i do.
have been having some kind of bad feelings these few days. let's hope everything will be alright.
i want to be healthy.
=(
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Tuesday, December 04, 2007
HAPPY!
haha i really really do not expect me to do it! i actually went SWIMMING!! haha i don't know since how long i've been into the pool. but the experience is exhilarating!! lol. and the weather is so nice. and just nice today is tuesday! then SAFRA pool is clean and nobody! cool man. i think i need to swim regularly already. with my tiny weeny short hair that i can proudly exposed, i must take full advantage and swim all i want. i predict that by this weekend, it'll drop off again and i wonder when will be the next time i'll be in the pool again! so yes, i'll hope that my hair will stay rooted and i can continue to swim! okay lar. actually swam for like 1 hour plus? or even lesser? but seriously, i got no stamina left, no strength left. im like a blob of thing floating around. lmao. but anyway, happy stuff.
then went to vivocity and shopped! ho! i dun like christmas/winter season clothing. not so nice. then bought a jeans and a basic lar. i think shopped for like 4 hours? with only one bag of plastic bag. hahs. and dresses are soo sooo nice! to my friends, wear dresses out okay?? so we can wear dresses! haha cheers <33
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Sunday, December 02, 2007
ok such a loooonggg time since i blogged.
firstly. let's talk about me. im a bit tired now. but i think i'll manage. just that perhaps this post will be long and draggy and dry and boring. but well.
1) the liver transplant which i was INITIALLY scheduled to undergo is cancelled. and i dunno that is lucky or unlucky for me. i've weighed out the pros and cons. so let's see.
the pros:
- i wont have the mercs scar on my tummy.
- i can continue to eat
- and i'll be healthy!
the cons:
- i cannot eat normal food
- actually i have this bad feeling about this major operation. it's 2 lives on the table for the doctors to cut you know! and i have to power over it
- well i'll be unhealthy
you know after the transplant, i'll be like bedridden and handicapped and helpless and i dunno. i think it'll be simply BAD. i cannot eat chicken rice! that's like the ultimater challenge. i cannot eat all hawker fare. and most importantly, i'm the EAT kinda of person so i think life wont be happy for me without food! besides, i wont be able to climb stairs carry stuff. so i think im "lucky" in this aspect that i didnt go for the transplant.
ok why didnt go for the transplant? and this goes a long way back. i remember on my OP day, i was complaining for numbness on my right side of my face. and i think i told germaine and mano and marcus. but i thought it was just nervous stuff and i ignored it. then i suffered severe headache soon after and after some mri blaah blah blah the operation is cancelled! ok they simply found another tumour near my brain stem cell. so thats why cannot operation! oh after transplant i have to eat LIFE LONG immuno suppressant drugs. how expensive and i may die of a flu.
oh yes. i must talk about my beloved friends. they are so so so so so super nice(sorry i got no sophiscated vocabulary) they came and bought this darling huge eeyore and stuffs! which i was so touched. and yes how i love them <33
okay. then to deal with the according-to-the-doctor-it's-a-small-tumour-but-doesnt-look-like-one-to-me brain cell tumour i had up in my head, i went through five days of radiotherapy! it was suppose to be a five week stuff but thank god it's only 5 days i really hope i'll be okay. ok skip the process. just lie there 15 mins and im out. for the first 2 days was totally terrible. cause the steroids i was consuming was too little which resulted in swollen brain something which cause nausea. for the second day, i vomited for a grand total of 11 times. it's is completely nothing already. just water out of my mouth. and being a FOOD person, how could i bear it! so hence, therefore, was admitted to the hospital. and yay im okay now. haha wednesday will go see doctor and i think soon another mri scan will be up and we shall see and i shall hope for the best yes? oh the liver tumours are still there i doubt they'll go away. but we'll see. my life huh! i hope second line chemo will be as good.
ok so im currently consuming steroids. err 24mg per day. my face will be like fishball! but nevermind lar huh. after like so long my hair is finally sprouting out!! and im happy. although i understand it's only temporary. but it's okay!!!
err yah. thats all about me.
2) we went to EAST COAST PARK today!! with huizhen, yini, chelsea, qinying and yirong! (it's disappointing our beloved huiqi is going to australia today) and we brought food. too much in fact and cycle. and frisbee. and eat. and photographs. happy happy happy. oh yes!
to my dear friends:
I REALISED I DID NOT BRING OUT MY FIFTY DOLLARS AT ALL! HAHA IT WAS ALL ALONG IN MY MAIN WALLET! HAHAHAHAAHA SO I DIDNT DROP IT!! HOHOHOHOHO
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