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Thursday, June 14, 2007

everybody's getting married. tony parker is getting married. and is that gerrard that qinying mentioned? if it is, oh well, then he's getting married too.

so time really flies and how time changes people. time is forever the same, 24 hours/60 mins. but people can really change with time. i do not know about others definitely. but i realise, i enjoy the times when we were young. and also, i treasure my life, my family, my friends more now. perhaps with more experiences gained,a better understanding of the world, our society, we learn to grow up. but i just want to turn back times when we.......
i remember, there is this period of time i think is after the O's. i promised myself to talk to each one of my old friends one by one each day. that means, everyday, i'll talk to somebody different. to catch up on times, to find out how they were and so on. but it is really so so so difficult to initiate a conversation with someone you knew was there but it's been really a long long time since you talked to him/her. it's like a million of questions running through my head, doubting whether that old friend actually wants to talk to me, what if that old friend chooses their new friends over me? and most importantly, what if we got no common topic to talk about after the formalities? that would be definitely awkard. i don't know lah. it sounds real easy to promise myself. but to execute that plan, i took 2 whole days to overcome all my fears and doubts and started on the plan. i think i chose someone who is pretty close to me in the past, and also very talkative. oh well, since that person is so talkative, of course my plan succeeded. it feels really good to be talking to someone who shares this common memory. but from what i recall, my plan failed. because i cannot find a second person to talk to. all my doubts came back to me and this time, i failed to overcome my fears. so my plan started with one person and ended with one person. and after the chat, i never dared to initiate a chat with an old friend anymore(well unless neccessary), even that first person who started and ended my plan.
and yes, im trying to make this as long as possible. so if you saw this part, be prepared cause im going to make it super damn it ultra fabulously superbly gigantically bombastically very very very very very very longgg. i dunno lah. but i just feel like it. make it as long as i can. and this shall be the longest post i ever had in my whold blogging history. haha. well perhaps until the next time im feeling this weird feeling of unjust, happiness, tiredness and such missing. so went to je and study. i took 2 whole days to study only 2 chapters ofchemistry. im a pretty much slowpoke and i think i'll flunk my terms like seriously, big time now. i still have math(which i have an ultra bad feeling about) and bio, and econs totally untouch. UNTOUCHED. got no idea how im going to do it, but i must and i can do it! oh that pizza lunch is super filling lah. first time in my life i ate so many slices of pizza and i'll never do it again. and i guess we took about an hour plus from library and back. and when we went back, we saw this friendly reminder from the library: not to leave our belongings unattended and not to reserve seats. aww. we're pretty sorry but what's done cant be undone. then went home. i realise i can take 198 to commonwealth and change 195 to my hse! haha and also im such a bus gundu la. even tho my hse is super convenient, but i dunno what bus to take to where man. im such a failure.
okay im super tired. my eyes are closing. but i shall continue. haha. okay came back from a break and im refreshed and i shall continue. talked to tan today, and he has changed. i dunno lah but i was looking forward to the laughs and all that but we talked about society problems instead man! and also discussed about whether is God present didnt discuss much bout this topic cause quite sensitive lah, and most importantly, talked about how chemistry sucked. haha kidding. as in im kidding about the chemistry being the most important part. but im serious that chemistry sucked! lol so we chatted and the society does have a major problem. from all JCs, i believe more than 50% of the students aimed to be a doctor. however, medicine faculty only accepts so little students! so what do the rest of the students do? browse around the subjects aimlessly and hope that you land on a faculty you like? i do not know. but all i know is i've got totally no chance of entering the faculty of my dreams given my results. and i think i'm aimless now. well better be aimless now than be aimless then i believe. and is there really a caste system in our society? high grades in higher education= higher position in our caste systems? i dun deny some people are born to lead and some are not. but i believe that all are fair. for what goes around, comes around. i believe in Karma. oh well. and i think my catch up with tan will be twice per year, sounds great? well, maybe 3 mths once. sounds more appropriate. but seriously. time changes people. education changes people. i think it's people that changed. more like environment changes people. and i find myself so hottempered nowadays. maybe not. i think the problem lies in me not able to express myself clearly instead. i mean no harm initially, but when the words comes out, be it in conversation real life or virtual, it sounds so different from what i wanted it to be. and i find myself affected when while im concentrating on someone, that person is not concentrating. i know i do that all the time. being unattentive and all, but okay i'll learn to accept all. and i found so many new games on neopets! haha pretty fun lah. and yes i think i took about half an hour to write this. just proves how tired i am. tomorrow must study hard! because my aim is there, with you lol if you get what i mean haha. oh and i shall continue my post. because i find it very long... and very unappealing. well, sometimes i do seek attention but not now, not this post. and if ever ever if there are people who reads this post entirely, i guess you should leave ur name on the tagboard so that i can credit you for being so patient and well, having so much free time on hand. oh well, this is the edited version already. im trying to make it as long as possible so that it feels up the whole page. then maybe i'll have that sense of achievement since i long had it. lol abit weird sense of achievement but given my standard, my brains, i can achieve nothing great. hhaa so be the little things make me happy and i shall be the happiest lady right now, at 2.ooam. okay edited version 1.2. found out that i can never cover the whole page cause, blogger template must show some post. cant only show one. well. im talking crap so i shall end here. tata! every seconds feels like forever since we stopped

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